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How to Personalise a Funeral Service: Ideas and Inspiration

Kate Cutter

When planning a funeral, one of the most meaningful things you can do is create a service that honours the unique life of your loved one. Personalising a funeral service doesn’t mean it has to be extravagant; it simply reflects the personality, values, and passions of the person being remembered. Here are some ideas and inspiration to help you create a memorable, heartfelt tribute:


1. Choose Meaningful Music

Music has the power to bring back memories and set the tone for a funeral. Whether it’s a favourite song, a piece of classical music, or something that has special meaning, music helps express emotions that words alone cannot. Some families choose to have live musicians or a choir, while others may prefer recorded music that brings comfort.


  • Ideas:

    • A beloved song from their youth

    • A song that has sentimental value, like a family anthem

    • A piece of music that represents their cultural heritage


2. Include Readings and Quotes

Readings are a beautiful way to express the sentiments and emotions of the family. Whether they are religious or secular, the right words can offer comfort. You might want to include favourite poems, meaningful quotes, or even personal letters or memories shared by family members.


  • Ideas:

    • A passage from a favourite book

    • A quote from a beloved movie or song

    • A personal letter or message written by a family member or close friend


3. Incorporate Symbolic Rituals

Symbolic acts can help families feel more connected during the service. You might want to include rituals that reflect the deceased’s passions or beliefs, or simply add a sense of comfort. From lighting candles to releasing doves, these gestures help create a sense of closure.


  • Ideas:

    • A candle lighting ceremony to represent life and love

    • A release of balloons or doves to symbolise freedom and peace

    • A moment of silence or prayer to reflect and honour the person’s life


4. Display Personal Mementos

Bringing personal items into the service can remind guests of the loved one’s personality and passions. These items could be displayed at the venue, or incorporated into the service itself. Whether it’s a favourite book, a photograph, or a hobby-related item, it adds a personal touch that can spark memories.


  • Ideas:

    • A photo collage or slideshow that showcases moments from their life

    • Displaying items that reflect their hobbies, such as a musical instrument, sports equipment, or craft items

    • A memory table with keepsakes from their life


      Alan was a Rabbitohs supporter 'til the end
      Alan was a Rabbitohs supporter 'til the end


5. Offer a Personal Tribute

Many people find comfort in sharing stories or offering a personal tribute during the funeral service. This can be a speech, a slideshow, or even a written piece that recalls the impact the person had on their family and friends. It’s an opportunity to celebrate their life in a unique, personal way.


  • Ideas:

    • A eulogy or personal story shared by a close friend or family member

    • A video tribute featuring photos, home videos, and music that highlights special memories

    • A memory jar where guests can contribute their thoughts, stories, or favourite moments with the deceased


6. Choose a Venue that Reflects Their Life

The location of the funeral can add a personal touch. If your loved one had a favourite place, this can create a sense of connection to their memory. This could be a traditional venue like a church or funeral home, or somewhere more personal like a garden, park, or even at home.


  • Ideas:

    • A funeral service held at a favourite beach, park, or nature reserve

    • A venue that reflects their cultural background, such as a cultural hall or temple

    • A service at home, where family and friends can gather in a comfortable, familiar setting



      Norma's car had to be present at her memorial
      Norma's car had to be present at her memorial


7. Customise the Order of Service

While the order of service for a funeral is traditionally standard, it’s completely acceptable to personalise it to reflect the life and personality of the person being honoured. You can include a favourite song, specific readings, or even specific moments like a toast or prayer that were important to the deceased.


  • Ideas:

    • A unique opening or closing song that has special meaning

    • Customising the order of service with personal anecdotes or favourite sayings

    • Including a time for sharing memories or a moment to reflect on the person’s life


8. Create a Lasting Memory with Keepsakes

Keepsakes are a wonderful way to give family and friends a tangible memory of the day. These can be simple tokens that represent the life of the deceased or a reminder of a special moment shared.


  • Ideas:

    • A small memorial card or bookmark with a favourite quote or photo

    • A keepsake urn or piece of jewellery containing some of the ashes

    • A donation box for a favourite charity in the person’s name, to continue their legacy


9. Unique Floral Tributes

Floral tributes are a traditional part of funerals, but you can take them a step further by choosing arrangements that reflect the deceased’s favourite colours, flowers, or even something symbolic. Some families choose to have a particular type of flower that held special meaning for their loved one, or opt for a more contemporary look with native flowers or succulents.


  • Ideas:

    • A wreath made of the deceased’s favourite flowers

    • Floral arrangements shaped like their favourite animal, hobby, or symbol

    • Planting a tree or creating a garden in their memory


10. Painting or Customising the Coffin

A more creative and unique option is to paint or decorate the coffin to reflect the personality of the deceased. This can be a beautiful way to incorporate their favourite colours, hobbies, or passions into the service. Some families work with artists to design a one-of-a-kind tribute that reflects the individuality of their loved one.


  • Ideas:

    • A coffin painted with vibrant colours or a specific theme, such as a favourite sport, location, or artwork

    • Adding photographs, symbols, or meaningful messages to the coffin’s exterior

    • Personalising with handprints, meaningful quotes, or artwork created by the family


11. Use Incense or Aromatherapy

Certain scents can evoke memories, calm the mind, and enhance the emotional atmosphere of a funeral. Whether you opt for incense, candles, or essential oils, introducing scent to the space can be a soothing and meaningful gesture.


  • Ideas:

    • A calming lavender or sandalwood incense burned during the service

    • Essential oils diffused with uplifting scents like rose or citrus

    • Scented candles placed around the venue to add a warm, peaceful ambiance



Final Thoughts

Personalising a funeral service is an important way to celebrate the life of a loved one and to provide comfort to family and friends. Whether through music, memories, or meaningful rituals, there are many ways to honour their legacy and create a service that feels true to their spirit. Working with a funeral director and celebrant who understand your wishes can help bring your vision to life, ensuring the service is exactly as you want it to be.

 
 
 

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